The Grim Underbelly

Two interesting events happened one fine morning right before Christmas that reminded me of home. The first one came in the form of a phone call from Mc Donald`s recruitment confirming my place as a crew member. Funny thing, I was left saying ‘hello, hello, can you hear me… hello?? courtesy of a poor connection. I actually found out about my selection via a text message which I received right after the darn call.  It was a sharp reminder of our over burdened cellular networks back at home and yes this stuff does happen in UK. Quite frequently actually. Oh and I use an O2 sim in case you are wondering.

The second event was the sound of bells ringing outside my window from what seemed like … a cotton candy man!? Impossible I thought as I reached out the window. It wasn’t a cotton candy man but in fact a pickup truck with all sorta trinkets and used items in the back. The driver was sticking his arm out of the truck giving a go at a tiny bell in a manner that can only be described as an English teen dabey wala!

Perhaps the twisted hyper drive my mind is going at these days is fooling me to imagine things or maybe I am just missing the sunlight. Hard to tell, but what I do know for sure is that the creative writing business is not the easiest professions in the world.

When I was coming here I had expected this. Months of networking and pestering people, getting assignments, days of sitting in front of a blank screen trying to write a good story and struggling with a deadline. It all sounded very fascinating living a bohemian existence, something I have always wanted. But every dream has a moldy and an abrasive underbelly; the part of your journey where you put in all the shit you had to take from people, the hard work and sweat that went in, the uncertainty, always the bloody uncertainty!, living on a simple budget, time away from loved ones and the cold weather. You are always caught unawares trying to deal with this underbelly. It`s the acid test.

But that`s how it is here in UK. 90% underbelly and 10% recreation, which I daresay is not a healthy combination. And what really takes the piss out of you is that even the slightest distractions can have disastrous consequences. For instance lending money to a mate is always a risky affair which I learned the hard way. Then last month I got a bit carried away with the end of term celebrations and consequently fucked my food `n utilities budget for a horrendous two weeks. Imagine smoke coming out of your mouth with every breath, in your own bloody room!

I like here hair though

But what really prompted an emergency response happened couple of weeks ago. I woke up feeling extremely hungry and depressed as hell. It was snowing outside, the sky was pale grey as usual and my room reeked of cigarettes mixed in god knows what else. I made an effort to climb out of bed and glanced at the mirror. There were these menacing bags under my eyes and my belly was flat to the point of caving in. I looked like an anorexic chicks fantasy. This was so not on. Something had to change.

It has been two weeks sine then. I`m writing again for the first time in months, my body is in that familiar painful state you get the day after a heavy workout, my weight is getting on track and last week I gave my first proper job interview in UK. Although I didn`t get the job I am content with my recovery process.

It has been a testing few months, everything has taken its toll but I have learned a lot from these adversities. I`m quite proud of myself. There are good times ahead.

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